Ponder the path of thy feet

So, I Went to Hawaii... Again.

2011-01-30T00:03:00.000-08:00

Yep, this was my third time finding my way to the Hawaiian islands. I went with Mary and Annie this time and saw a new island, the big island, which I loved!

We spend the first few days on Oahu and our last few on the Big Island. It's amazing how different they are, but both so great... can hardly wait for another 3-4 years for tradition to send me back again!

Here's a quick video that sums it all up:

He Made it for You

2010-08-14T07:21:00.000-07:00

This too shall pass.

I find myself repeating this phrase in my mind as I sit here on my bed on a beautiful Friday evening in the middle of august… sick. Sick with a head cold that has seemingly taken up permanent residence in my body and has invited its new best friend “nausea” over to check the place out. I sit here when I should be outside on a mountain top, a walk, a bike ride – doing anything really, anything but sitting here.

With this down time, I’ve had plenty of time to reflect. It’s been an interesting summer, not at all what I expected it to be. It’s been more stressful than most and with that I’ve somehow let negativity dictate my thoughts and feelings.
Work is definitely not fulfilling these days. I’ve had just about all I can take of empty promises, and the information I deal with everyday isn’t exactly cheery. My back is acting like it’s 81 and my love life isn’t going exactly as planned – but what Mormon girl really plans on not being married, or at least close to it at age 31? With most of my friends being in serious relationships, I’m seriously lacking in my traditional summer adventures and my never ending goal of losing “that last 10 pounds” has just been modified… to 15.
Life can be a real bummer sometimes.

But even with all this going on, I can’t seem to get a certain recent relief society lesson out of my head. The lesson was basically about considering and realizing what you live for, and that if it’s anything but love, it’s probably not going to be that easy to be happy. While listening to this lesson I couldn’t help be relate love to beauty and I really began to think about all that is beautiful in my life. I’ve been blessed to have seen and known so much that is beautiful in this world and I’ve been blessed to know from who it comes from.

Though, I could go on about each individual thing that I recognize beauty in, I’m going to consent to the notion that a picture is worth a thousand words, so view below to see a few of 'my beautiful.'

My beautiful desert and the Great Salt Lake

Rain Forest of Costa Rica

Glacier National Park and my beautiful sissy

Everyone should have a lover on Lover's Beach - Mexico

Ireland

Kauai- Hawaii. Disneyland has nothing on this place.

Havasupai Arizona. This sight brought tears to my eyes.

I really like to see my Dad really laugh. In fact, I love it.

Majestic Big Sur, CA

Floria Jungle and Hiking with Sibs - beautiful

Babies! My family sure makes beauties.

17 J - the house I grew up in. It's hard to believe it doesn't exist anymore,

but it was beautiful to me.

Last but not least, the perfect example of beauty.

Never has there been a more beautiful woman inside and out.

She's my proof that there is a God and he does love me because I got her for my mother.

Rebel Without a Cause

2009-04-23T20:32:00.000-07:00

I generally consider myself to be a "good girl" but as I look back on my life I can see that I've had a need to feel rebellious every once and awhile - I think it keeps me feeling alive.
This rebellious flare has shown itself through out the years in many different forms. Starting at a young age I'd go for a finger full of butter during the blessing on the food, I'd ride my bike beyond the street boundaries set by my parents, I'd skip classes in high school, and in college I went on a motorcycle ride in not much more than my underwear... At 2am... in January.
Sometimes I stand to close to the edge, dye my hair a funky color, call in sick when I'm not sick at all, run a red light, take spontaneous road trips, j-walk, and occasionally I may even say a cuss word.

Today I had the same rebellious feeling, but it came when I realized I didn't buckle up. Uh, all I can say is I guess the ripe old age of 30 is in fact kickin' in.

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. ~Mark Twain

2009-02-16T10:00:00.000-08:00

In approximately 30 days I will be 30. Yep, thirty.
In a lot of ways this fact seems unreal to me and when I say it out loud, I feel like I’m telling a joke.
How did I get to 30, and so fast!? I don’t feel 30, I certainly don’t act 30 and from what people tell me, I don’t even look 30. But, regardless of the stigma that is generally attached to this age, I am surprisingly OK with this fact. It could just be a serious case of denial, but I feel like I’ve whole heartedly conceded to the notion of “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.” – I can’t slow down or stop time or rewind time and then press pause on age 23 (though I dream of that almost daily) so, I’ve decided I’m gonna live up every year I have, exploring, learning and loving.
Now, this generally uncommon peace with turning 30 definitely didn’t happen naturally or over night. Actually, I think I hit the trauma of it all prematurely - when I turned 29. It was a rough birthday because I knew and feared what was just 1 short year away! But, after having a year to reflect on all of this and having some great examples of 30 year old attitudes (some positive, some negative – both very educational) I am totally and completely ok with this new big, round number.
All in all, I have found that there is no good reason that I can think of to put on my bitterpants on my next birthday just because of a number. It’s not like I was cheated out of anything or that life is doing me wrong in anyway- it’s just doing the same thing to me that it has done, or will do to everyone else! At the same time, I’m also not going to try and claim that 30 is the new 20. It’s not. 30 is old. I recognize that and I’m OK with it!
Instead of worrying about the amount of years I’ve spent on this earth, I am going to love them and look forward to even more of them!
So cheers to 30 - and to 30 more!

So This is the New Year..

2009-01-02T22:49:00.000-08:00

January 2009 is a month I have been looking forward to for awhile now -mostly due to an upcoming cruise I'm going on which departs in about 2 weeks - but as this new year got closer, I've reflected on the past year over the last week or so more deeply and thoroughly than I have in any of the years before.

2008 was a good year. I started a new good job, I had a few great little adventures and I experienced the highest highs and the lowest lows spiritually and emotionally of my life.

Because of that I learned a lot valuable things about myself, but it was exhausting! It feels fantastic to be starting a new week, a new month and a new year - for the first time ever New Year's really does feel like a fresh start.
Part of this fresh start feeling included a move I made this week. I moved just a few blocks away from my old house, so I'm still downtown SLC and really close to work, but it's with a friend - Megann Reece aka Slim of Team Hardcore! It feels great to be living with a good friend again.

Anyway, as new years day went by I couldn't help but ponder throughout the day on what this new year will bring. I considered many things, jobs, grad school possibilities, travels, relationships, adventures, personal development etc. but strangely enough, none of them included an electrical fire starting inside the wall of my new home at 11:30pm on new years day.

I was extremely blessed to be home, awake and in the room that the fire started in so it could be quickly extinguished. The fire started and seemed to be contained to the inside of an outlet box right beside my bed. Although we were fairly certain the fire was completely out within the walls, we called the fire department to come examine the situation and help us figure out why it started and how to prevent future possibilities of our house burning down. We learned that luckily the problem wasn't too major and with the help of an electrician could be easily remedied.

Needless to say, the whole experience was quite an adventure.. and if it was a foreshadowing for the events of 2009, it should be quite the year!

Dam, What a Beautiful Man

2008-11-21T22:24:00.000-08:00

I vividly remember the first time I heard Mason Jennings music. It was thanks to Dave House in early 2003. We were chillin in his room one day after school and he told me that he had some new music he thought I would like. Little did he know how right he would be. The first song he played me was “Darkness Between the Fireflies” and by the time the song was one third of the way through, I knew that I was experiencing the closest I will probably ever come to love at first sight… well, in this case – love at first sound.

For a good solid year, I had little to no interest in listening to much of anything else, as his music seemed to not only satiate my musical appetite completely but I experienced something I had rarely if ever experienced before - his music not only spoke to me, but it seemed to speak for me. With his unbelievable ability to express his thoughts and emotions so simply and yet so poignantly, I found that Mason’s lyrics were the words to many of my similar thoughts and feelings that were previously indescribable.

Over the last few years I have been fortunate enough to see Mason Jennings perform live many times and privileged to even meet him a couple times. I am happy to report that he is very much down to earth and personable – he even remembered me the third time around. :)

Though my Mason Mania has definitely died down over the years, his music is still among my favorites and the songs I’ve heard hundreds of times are still just as moving and stirring at times.

Last night I went to see Mason Jennings play again in the Murray theatre. This was my 9th time seeing Mason perform and he is still just as marvelous and captivating as he was the first time I saw him play. He had a whole new band who were great, the sound was very crisp and clean. He also had the opening performer Zach Gill come in and play the piano in many of the songs which provided for a richer, fuller sound to many of his songs, as it’s usually Mason who is playing either the guitar OR the piano – but never both until now.
Man, these shows definitely provide nourishment for my soul.

If you were part of the unfortunate billions who were unable to attend last nights show, this is a little video made by Kyle Clark recapping the evenings events.. enjoy!

Sure, I've got pictures of my own

2008-10-14T21:57:00.000-07:00

Still pictures have always been fascinating to me. Not only can they be extremely artistic in capturing moods and altering perception but they also have the ability to do what many of us long to do; they press pause on time.
My interest in photography initiated in high school but it wasn’t until about 5 years ago that I finally bought my first SLR film camera. I fiddled with it for a while, but then left it to collect dust as the digital scene became more prevalent. For the last few years, I have been content with the little point & shoot digitals as they do take fantastic pictures, but slowly and surely the desire to learn technique in photo taking and the process of developing and printing resurfaced. So, as of this summer I finally realized one of my long standing goals of taking a photography class. The class turned out to be everything I was hoping for and more. I was reminded what it’s like to be more careful with each photo – making sure the subject matter, lighting and my positioning were all in check before snapping a shot. I also fell in love with the whole dark room experience. It was thrilling to create my first print and from there learn about all the different methods of altering photos with filters, light exposure, sizing etc.
I am by no means nothing more than an amateur at this point, but it’s been so fun to begin in the development of this new skill!
Anyway, here are some of my favorites from this summer:

What I wouldn't Give to be Eve...

2008-09-12T12:25:00.000-07:00

The other day a friend told me how much I reminded her of a character on a TV show. Though said character is rather funny and pretty (naturally) I couldn't help but take slight offense to this compliment.
Back in 2002, when I worked at Anasazi I was introduced to the Arbinger Institute philosphy "The Choice" which basically states that you have the ability to choose your way of being. Since that time, I have had a great awareness of my ability to choose and even a sense of pride in this and in my originality. Therefore, being compared to someone else who is a social icon, made me fear that others would think that I am actually trying to be like this character as a way to express and/or define myself. Why would something like this bother me so much? Well, our culture and more specifically our media dictates so much about who we are externally - what we eat, how we dress, how we wear our hair and make up, our language-slang and accents, our modes of transportation, etc. but what about our internal selves?
I often think about my thoughts - why I am thinking them, where they came from and in doing this I like to think that these thoughts are purely my own. I usually consider what I do and say before doing and saying them because I am repulsed by taking action simply based on the fact that others are doing it. This is not easy as we as people learn by example and we seem to mimic by nature, but generally I think I do pretty well with this. It's not to say that I don't follow cultural mores and norms and trends - I just like to do it consciously, I like to know why I am following them.
So, after receiving this "compliment", I started to notice sayings, behaviors and such from our media that I was in fact mimicking unconsciously. With this unpleasant realization I was inspired to examine myself on an even deeper level - making me aware of the possibility that none of my thoughts are original. Of course it is me thinking them, but my mind has been filled with ideas that aren't mind since birth - how am I ever supposed to know the difference? It was in this moment of confusion and realization that I had a sudden sense of envy for the mother of all: Eve.
What would it be like to take this world in with out the influence of others! To decide what to wear with out any influence of fashion. What to eat with out anyone else dictating what tastes good or what is healthy. (OK, there may have been ONE time where she was influenced on this one) To create art or music with no influence from others. To make sense of the elements of this planet. To view yourself as a female with out the centuries of bias and the objectification of women. To contemplate what is important in this life with out the ideas of others.. to truly decide these things for yourself. What would it be like!?
The thought is overwhelming and exciting all at the same time! Ironically, Eve had no choice by to choose all these things for herself! It puts me in awe to think about what a different experience of this life she had than I do. Though I am satisfied with my life and I love many of the amenities and creations that we have now that she didn't, I can't help but feel a tinge of jealousy for the life she had.. especially when I think about how she got to roam around this world naked.

I am I said.

2008-08-05T12:44:00.000-07:00

52 things that I am:
1. Sara E.
2. learning
3. hopeful
4. cautious
5. religious
6. 5'10 1/2
7. patient
8. able
9. stable
10. capable
11. punctual
12. jealous
13. a friend
14. sister
15. daughter
16. thinking
17. curious
18. a romantic
19. grateful
20. openminded
21. trying to listen
22. woman
23. tricky
24. forever in blue jeans
25. sensitive
26. lover of love
27. a dreamer
28. proud
29. responsible
30. perceptive
31. analyzer
32. fantasizer
33. intuitive
34. sassy?
35. good with my hands
36. witty
37. forgiving
38. tan
39. right-handed
40. left-handed
41. honest
42. on my own
43. planning
44. wanting
45. soft
46. insecure
47. spontaneous
48. inshape
49. 29
50. schemer
51. adventerous
52. Alive

SupportJuly

2008-07-17T08:20:00.001-07:00

Somehow it is already July - and already we're half way through it! But, this is definitely NOT something I am complaining about... This month has been a goodie! It started off with the arrival of my mother. There is not much that I love more than to have that woman close by! Not only is she the loving, caring, sensitive, nuturing mother that many just dream of having, but she is also my dear dear friend. For her first fews days in town we made a quick trip down to Moab - a place that I love and she had never been before, so it was really great to share it with her.

A couple weeks later Joe and his family came to town - it's so amazing to see how fast children grow and change! Aaron is a little boy now and June with her newsest purring sound is the cutest little babe ever!

This month also provided me with the long awaited opportunity to visit Havasupai falls in the Grand Canyon in Arizona. My friend Natalie Thompson called me just a few days before the trip saying that she had spots open up in a big group that was headed down and wanted to see if I was interested. Naturally, I did whatever it would take to make it happen and before I knew it I was on my way! It is about a 10 hour drive to the trailhead, and from there it's a 10 mile hike in to the campgrounds. We started the hike at about 430am and arrived at about 7am - we did 10 miles in 2.5 hours!I was extremely proud of that! By the time we got there, we were obviously exhausted but after a few hours of sleep we were ready to play!

The waterfalls were unbelievable and the crystal blue water was breathtaking- it's really hard to believe this place is located in the middle of the Arizona desert, but that is part of what makes it so fantastic!

Every day was perfect -> from the weather, to the magestic scenery to the company, it was a great experience!

1/2 way through... and good news, I'm still here

2008-07-04T15:43:00.000-07:00

Ain't it good to breathe the air

Another spin around the sun

On this spec of life in the universe

A little peace of life in everyone

Ain't it good to be alive?

To feel the sun strong against your face

It spills over me like the milky way

-Edwin

It's half way through 2008 and I am still alive- but not without coming close to the alternative at least once or twice!

The latest threat on my life is one some of you may have already heard about, but I think it is still worth writing about!

About 2 weeks ago, Saturday June 21 to be exact, I made the unbelievably naive decision to tackle the provo river tandem on an 1 man ocean kayak with my bud Rich Cannon. If you know me at all, you know that kayaking isn't exactly my thang, however I decided to trust my friend who does know a thing or 2 about kayaking and who assured me everything would be fine - but, if you know Rich at all, then you know that I should have known better...

When we started our little adventure out - it was exactly how I pictured it - Rich in back, doing all the paddling work, me stretched out on the front of the kayak, getting my suntan in check and Annie Hancock smiling along side us in her own kayak.

Not too long after we began though, the speed of the current picked up which was exciting for a good 6-9 seconds, but then quickly turned to startling when I found myself trying to catch my breathe in the freezing cold water of that wicked river after we hit much heavier rapids and rolled out of the kayak. Though the water was only 3-4 feet deep, I not only found myself struggling to stand due of the strength of the current, but now I was frantically fighting to breathe because I couldn't stand and thus i couldn't keep my head above water. (This was the part where I wished I had the life jacked strapped to me, instead of strapped to the kayak.)

Adrenaline quickly kicked in, which thankfully removed all the feelings of being cold from my mind and body and allowed me to concentrate on the vital need of getting a hold of a rock, a branch, or anything that would allow me to get some footing, stand and start up that whole breathing process again. For some reason - I did allow myself to become distracted and even focused on a few other things during the whole ordeal which now, are humorous but also a little disturbing.. what was I doing thinking about anything else besides getting air!?! Anyway, first, I was extremely concerned about my camera which was in my pocket - though it was "safely" in ziplock bag, I was obviously worried about it falling out and kept checking on it under the water. Second, I was wearing handmade seashell earring made by my little sister - which i was also worried about losing and did check once or twice while I was drowning. Thirdly, I found myself distracted by Annie - who could tell i was obviously in trouble but was yelling, " ARE YOU OK?!" as she kayaked past me. I didn't spend any time trying to respond, but I did let the thought "Are you serious?!" overpower the thought of "get oxygen" for about 1.5 seconds.

I don't remember the part where I finally got a grip on an object long enough to stop myself and achieve a standing position - but I did, and let me tell you breathing never tasted so good.

I climbed out of the water and looked down stream where I saw that Rich and Annie were both safely out of the water as well. I then pulled my camera out of my pocket, just as water was rushing out of a big hole in the bag... fortunately i still had both my earrings.

Shortly after that, I looked down and saw something else the adrenaline had kept me from feeling... the incredible beating I received from the rocks and whatever else was in there as the Provo River had its way with me!

After a little more craziness - the details of which I will skip, the 3 of us finally reunited - alive and mostly well. Somehow Rich and Annie walked away from the whole experience without a scratch.

I spent the next week on pain meds, with ice packs on my legs and walkin around with a wicked-cool limp - but though my legs still have a purplish hue to them, I am feeling much better! And Edwin was never more right when he said "ain't it good to be alive?!" - cuz it is.

(And to add to the goodness of my "recovery" my camera fully came back to life! If any of you are shopping for a digital camera, I highly recommend the Canon Powershot SD 900. I'm pretty sure it has 9 lives.)

YELLOWSTONE

2008-06-17T14:58:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I had the opportunity to explore and re-discover the land of Yellowstone National Park. It has been at least 20 years since I have visited this place, and even though, disappointedly, I did not see any bears or moose (an animal that I am now convinced is just as fictional as a polkaroo or at least just as illusive) this visit was long over due and well worth it!

Mary, Annie Hancock, Joe and Rich England, Marco Brandi and Matt Wagnor were also part of this little weekend get-a-way each of whom completed and complimented the whole adventure.

Joe and Rich not only generously provided the comforts of a cozy mountain cabin, but they proved to be excellent tour guides - on land, water and motorcycles!
The weekend offered the perfect combination of relaxation, adventure, great people and a few rounds of name that tune – which turned out to be exactly what I needed to achieve the sense of “getting away from it all.”

Though our wildlife sightings weren't quite what I was hoping for, we weren't completely deprived! We saw plenty of buffalo and elk, we spotted a huge bald eagle, a coyote and plenty of other little critters. The hot springs were breathtaking,
and old faithful is still doing her thang!

I am ever awed by the beauty and grandeur that is this earth. Every time I experience somewhere new, as I did this past weekend, I become even more eager to explore this whole world - to witness for myself all it has to offer in its natural state – as all of it seems to feed my soul! But until I get the opportunity to complete my worldwide ventures, I am contented with the knowledge that so much of this beauty is right here in my own backyard and that I have the ability to discover it!

Things Change

2008-06-09T13:02:00.000-07:00

“Strange how the moment just can’t last,

no way of living inside the past…
Things can die, they can’t stay the same,

Things change.” – Mason Jennings

This past weekend the reunion that has only been talked about for years finally took place. Several of the trailwalkers employed at Anasazi from 2002-2003 reunited at Kellicia Bowerbank Gomez’s cabin in Kamas Utah.

It had been up to 5-6 years since some of us had seen one another and though it is true that some things never change, like the unbelievable wit of James Elton, Dave House’s fantastic laugh and Mark Magleby feats of strength, life does have a way paving different paths, of turning the nomadic hearted into stationary and stable momma’s and papa’s and simply “moving on.”

Without a doubt, the summer of 2002 has been the most memorable summer of my life. Not only did I have some of the most incredibly challenging and character testing and building experiences but I met some of the best people that I believe exist on this earth today. I have learned so much from each one of them, things that I know have greatly broadened my perspectives on this life. I learned to see this earth, and everything in it in a new light and with a new found love. It was at Anasazi and with these people that I really learned to recognize, to love and to value people as individuals – including myself. I learned wisdom, a whole new level of patience and how to really laugh. Most of all, I learned how to truly recognize, respect and love my God.

Though the people I came to know and love still prove to be extraordinary individuals, It’s difficult to recall this chapter of my life without feeling a great sense of nostalgia for times and experiences of the past which I long to relive, but must settle to just remember. I know that this is a feeling that everyone can relate to – many times over I’m sure, but through my desires to go back and again experience the pleasures of the past, I am reminded to cherish the here and now. The present is a magical time because it’s only going to happen once, and it’s happening now! I have so much choice in the present and that is not only exciting but it is empowering. I will be ever grateful for my Anasazi experience – not only for the fond irreplacable memories it has created but also because it has played an immense role in molding me into the person I am TODAY.

Victim of SLC Vandals, Nay Survivor of SLC Vandals!

2008-06-02T17:01:00.000-07:00

Mom is right, life is full of surprises. You never do know what is around the corner, but i'm pretty sure the surprise life brought me when i woke up this morning was not quite what she had in mind..

This morning I woke up like I normally do - to my dreaded alarm clock, as it faithfully fulfilled its purpose in my life. As I roused to consciousness, My mind started to recall the enjoyable events of this past weekend and I couldn't help but feel the familiar monday morning desire of wanting my weekend to last at least one more day.. mmm, if not forever. I laid in bed for about 2 minutes contemplating ways to avoid getting up and most of all going to work on such a beautiful morning, but as usual I came up with nothing. So I gave in, crawled out of bed and into the shower.

Taking my sweet time as I get ready in the morning has been a luxury I have re-learned to cherish and take FULL advantage of, since I made the move to SLC, and this morning was no exception - well, until about 7:43am when I was abruptly interupted from my "what-to-wear, closet-stare" by the sound of the doorbell being repeatedly rung, and my name being yelled over and over through the open window by Stormy, a tenant from the first floor apartment of our house...

As I approached the door I heard partial sentences from inside and outside the house to the effect of "cars being hit." You can probably image the thoughts that were running through my mind at this time, and if you can't they were something to this affect. But, a quick glance out the window before getting the door assured me my car was OK - or at least so it seemed.

As I made my way out the door, I quickly learned that I was Salt Lake City's newest victim of vandalism... My car had gone from what the mirror mirror on the wall called the "most beautiful car of all" - to some punk kid's method of revenge on his parents, society and probably the world.

Strangely enough my reaction to the words "thizz bitch or die - Rosepark" spraypainted across the drivers side of my car left me feeling anything but angry or even sad. My first thought was, how am I supposed to drive to temple square with the word "bitch" on the side of my car? My second thought - was with all the beauty in the world and the potential to create even more, why is someone wasting their time doing this? Then reality hit, and I realized that this little stunt would cost me at least $500 dollars as I would have to pay my insurance deductable, if not more. At this time, I did feel sad as my pocketbook usually sits pretty shallow, but I am impressed with myself in the fact that I never did become angry over this situation. In fact, now I am even glad that this occurred, and here is why.

First off, my neighbor - Stormy suggested to me that soap & water and a little old fashion scrubbin' maybe all it would take to remove the paint. Though I doubted this, I figured it was worth a try and to my delight, it worked! So with the help of Stormy's roommate Sharine, I spent the next 3 hours scrubbing the paint off my car and counting the many blessings and tender mercies of this situation, and here is what I came up with:
1. I now know the cheapest way to remove spray paint from any given vehicle.

2. My half-conscious Monday morning wish of having a way to not go to work and enjoy the beautiful morning was granted.

3. I now have a better relationship with the neighbors downstairs.

4. I got the best arm work out I have had in months- if not years.

5. and, I now have a freshly and thoroughly cleaned car.

So, if by the one-in-a-billionth chance that my SLC vandal is reading this blog I want to say thank you to you! Though your life may be filled with drugs & alcohol, violence, broken homes, feelings of neglect and abandonment and an insatiable sense to repay the world for all the horribles it has brought upon you, through your inconsiderate and debasing action you have actually just made my world a better one.. so I guess, in the end it's actually you who just got punk'd and in the best way possible!